You Are Not Your Sister’s Keeper

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Ladies.  We have to take a moment to have a serious attitude adjustment. This isn’t about encouraging competition. This isn’t about creating division among women. This is more about understanding how personal responsibility will play a major role in your success.

You are not your sister’s keeper.


It is not your responsibility to make sure she is happy, supported and fed. You are not obligated to look out for her well-being and you are not delegated to place her feelings before your own. You are your primary responsibility. It is instinctual to be this way.  If we all took the time to ensure that our own homes were clean and our business was taken care of we would not need the next woman to have pity on us and care for us too.

I am not asking you to be selfish, to lie to and to steal from the women in your life. Your character is not something I can change or influence; you are who you are. I am asking you to stop being upset at the next woman because she did not behave in a way that benefits you. You are not her puppet master. She is thinking of herself and going after her goals and there is nothing wrong with that.

You are not your sister’s keeper.

Unless you are a caregiver, social worker or therapist it is not your job to take on the responsibility of being the next woman’s savior or listening ear. You are not obligated to help. You are not obligated to contribute. You are not obligated to listen to anyone complain over and over again about the same  mess simply because you call her your friend.

Be your own best friend.

Take the time right now to shower yourself with the amazing amount of dedication, forgiveness and attention that you have been offering everyone around you.  You were not born to be a doormat or a stepping stool. You matter too.

You are not your sister’s keeper.

She has her own life to live and does not need you to rescue her every time she falls. She has her own destiny which she will fulfill whether or not you are there. Her life will go on.

And your life must go on too.

You are your own responsibility. Your life matters more. Your desires matter more. Your happiness matters more. Your choices are the most important.

Right now, you may believe that your friendships are the most important things in life but in time you will realize that the women you shared your path with, will choose their own paths. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t important, it just means that you ultimately have to be bold enough to walk your own too. Your journey is  more important than dedicating yourself to assisting someone else’s.

You are not your sister’s keeper.



girl-317673_640You have no responsibility to:

Make sure her lover/partner/husband is being faithful.

Offer her the best choice.

Cater to her needs.

Be her backbone.

Share your clothes.

Offer her advice.

Help her succeed.

Be her partner in crime.

Share your wisdom.

                                                                      Love her unconditionally.

You owe her NOTHING. Her life and happiness is not your RESPONSIBILITY.

But if you choose to share special moments, to be a listening ear, to offer encouragement and soothing words of peace, it is your choice and it will be honored. Consider these things a gift to this world and not an obligation.

It is not your obligation to take care of any woman but yourself.

You are not your sister’s keeper.

Go on out and create YOUR best life. Give yourself permission to put yourself FIRST.

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