Your Pain Should Not Be Your Pride

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Let’s give it up for all of the women who have been through a tough time in life and managed to pull through.

Now, once you stop singing SURVIVOR and patting yourself on the back for going through a tough situation that millions of people before you have been through, you may realize that without that sob tale, your story, your life story wouldn’t be as appealing.

If you had to eliminate every challenge or trauma from your life story, what would your story sound like? If you think it is pretty boring without the trauma, chances are you are actually proud of the drama and strife. Don’t be ashamed, the dramatic moments add spice to life.

But, if you can only define your life by sharing stories of the wrong that people have done to you or the situations where you were taken advantage of then you are basically admitting that you do not want a peaceful life.

It’s okay to be addicted to the drama, but make sure that those who are around you are willingly a part of your type of fun too. You can’t create drama everywhere you go just so that you’ll have an exciting story to tell. That’s childish.

If you are tired of the drama and need some peace and quiet in your life you have to learn to stop defining your life by the drama.

When people ask you about your life and you open up to them, what are the stories that you tell? What stories do you share that makes you feel close to others? The answers to these questions reveal what you value about life.

Your pain is not your pride. You are not a collection of sob stories. Stop looking for answers in every person you meet. Stop needing a rescuer. Stop needing the attention of people who you feel can try to help you solve your problems.

No one can solve your problems for you. There is no such thing as a rescuer. If you want to stop having “woe is me” stories to tell, you have to stop creating them. Yes, you are creating them by the perspective you choose to view life with.

Nothing is that dramatic or heartbreaking. No words anyone says really carry that much weight. No one who left you or mistreated you is really that important. You’re making them important with your attention and you’re making all of the sad tales and times you were victimized become the defining moments in your life.

Just drop it. Release it. Don’t talk about them again.

A memory is not physical. You can’t touch it or hold on to it. The painful moments do go away, when you decide they are NOT worthy of the attention. It’s your choice.

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