Te-Erika’s Diary: Am I A Princess in the BDSM World?

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Since being introduced to the fetish community I have been fascinated by how each role parlays into regular relationships. So many people are participating in Dominant/Submissive relationships and have no clue that they are.

When I was first introduced to BDSM I thought I was a Domme, and I was able to have a play session that I enjoyed very much. Outside the play, I didn’t enjoy it.  I realized that controlling people or demanding obedience, giving out punishments and requiring compliance is not my thing. I don’t enjoy pulling people my way.

So back to the drawing board, I met a man who claimed to be a dominant and wanted to play so I went and played with him and really, REALLY enjoyed it. I explored my submissive side and realized so much about myself. I like sexual submission. I like be toyed with and used sexually. I love to be ordered to perform sexually and rewarded when I do a good job.

Good girl.

I LOVE TO HEAR THAT!

It sends my heart racing and makes me feel proud. I couldn’t believe how much joy that brought to my life the first time I heard those words.

However, I am not truly submissive as I could not maintain my submission outside of the sexual play. I can be quite a bitch. I’m not a brat just for the sake of causing problems, but my standards are high for good treatment and most often I don’t believe anyone I meet is good enough for me.

I feel like I deserve a LOT. I deserve to be pampered and spoiled and I don’t mind doing the same for the one who does it for me. If I’m not getting that treatment in return, I won’t offer it. I can’t.

So I met another Dominant man, or so he claims. I’m still getting to know him. The first one I met, I realized he wasn’t really a dominant man because he had been trained to urinate while sitting down and he couldn’t handle me offering my opinion on things. I believe a truly secure, dominant man does not need to control everything, he just does. The submissive who serves him wants to reward him with her compliance because she trusts his judgment and feels protected by him.

This new Dominant man started off with sexual play, but things just weren’t up to my standards.  He was handsome and took me to the heights of my sub experience where I had tears of release flowing down my cheeks because I really enjoyed letting go of my control over myself and blissfully giving it to him but, his home wasn’t up to my standards. The meal he made me wasn’t really how I liked it. He didn’t offer me the aftercare I expressed I wanted in the exact way I wanted it. It made me feel like I was disrespected as a sub.  I decided not to play with him anymore, but I do enjoy talking to him because he is super intelligent so I will continue that.

As we discussed our session and what went wrong, he admitted that he did not handle me properly. I also asked him what he thinks I resemble and he said he thinks I am not really a Domme, but a Princess. When I asked him why he said, “You want things a certain way, you demand it, but you also want to serve and submit but only if what you want is given to you.”

That’s true.

From my understanding of the Princess role, these are adult women who are submissive to men they consider to be Dominant over them, more particularly, Daddies. The point of being a princess is the love of having everything you want given to you, being spoiled and pampered all day. There is another side to the princess role, and that is Princess by Day, Slut By Night. This is when the woman loves to be completely cared for and treated like royalty by her Dom, but at night to thank him, she becomes the dirties slut she can imagine and she loves every second of it. Her ability to be the dirty, nasty slut he loves is dependent on his providing for her and pampering her.

I love this role!

I feel like a Queen. I feel like I should be worshiped. I have always felt that way. Sometimes I look around my environment and wonder, “Am I in the wrong life?”

It sure feels like it.

As for now I’ll just wait until I meet someone else who understands the BDSM lifestyle and can help me discover more about myself.

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Comments (4)

  1. Jennifer Parker November 18, 2013
  2. lostangel May 31, 2016
    • Nee September 27, 2016
  3. Jessie October 29, 2016

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