Te-Erika’s Diary: Finding My Joy Again

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What a crazy week!

I am a freelance writer and I’ve barely had time to write I’ve been so busy with moving from Long Beach to Westlake which is in South LA. You won’t believe that when the day came for me to move the guy who promised he would help me bailed on me and never called or picked up when I called. I had to take a taxi from Long Beach to LA to the tune of $85 in order to move my stuff. But I did it! Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

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And my sister, boy I’ll tell you, if she hasn’t gone off the deep end with this “The End Is Near” talk. She ONLY talks about building bunkers and stocking food and learning how to survive once the end of the world comes and the economy collapses and we have to get down or lay down with the new world order. She’s starting to give me nightmares.

But the good part is I’ve come to a wonderful epiphany. Ever since I moved to Los Angeles 16 months ago I’ve been working so much on my project and my goals that I have experienced a sort of frustration with not meeting them as quickly as I could. But-a couple of weeks ago I decided to stop PRESSURING myself and try to have some fun. I mean, I used to walk around looking drab and wondering why people were just going about their lives when there was a whole big world out there to impact and change. I didn’t understand how women could focus on make up and shopping when there was so much to do in life.

I laugh about how ridiculous that sounds but the truth is, right now is important. So I decided that I would do something for ME. The first thing I did was buy a ticket to hear Malcolm Gladwell speak. Then I went out and bought myself a pair of boots and a new pair of sneakers. Then I went to be on The Price is Right but there were too many people so they had to turn most of us away. This is a picture of a woman in line eager to hear COME ON DOWN!Price Is Right T-Shirt October 2013

 

Then I decided that I would be good to myself EVERY DAY. I don’t mean buying myself things every day but I mean, you know, being sure to be GOOD to myself every day. I laugh a lot more, I smile a lot more. I skype with my Mama as much as I can and find more joy in chatting with my sons. I feel so much joy in my heart right now. I truly let go of the pressure of being in Los Angeles and not completing my goals in the time period that I wanted to and decided that- wait a minute- I’m in LA, I better enjoy it while I can.

And I have!

I’ve been going to museums! Take a look at these pics I took at the Long Beach Art Museum. This was a part of the Risque X Rated Exhibit.

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I’ve been having so much fun just enjoying being alive. It’s very likely that I will complete my goal, but it doesn’t have to be this month or this year. I can finish it whenever I’m done. I’m not racing with anyone but myself.

I feel so free!

I feel so guilt free!

I feel so happy!

I can’t believe that is all it took to take the pressure away. I knew it intellectually but my soul must have forgotten, NOTHING MUST HAPPEN, in order for you to me happy.

I’m here RIGHT NOW and I’m going to enjoy LA as much as I can!

 

 

 

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