There is nothing quite like being a Mom. We get to watch as tiny human beings emerge from our bodies and then guide them as they grow. We often believe that if we do everything just right, they will avoid all of the heartache that we had to experience. We watch them, protect them and bestow all of our life’s wishes for happiness upon them.
This is all well and good, who wouldn’t want to wish the best for their child? But, some Moms make a vital mistake in their well-wishes for their children that may lead to more harm than good.
Moms, don’t turn your child into your life’s project. Yes, if you are concerned with their well-being, learn to offer them guidance and be a part of their lives but don’t allow that to be the main part of your life.
Yes, some Moms have to leave their careers to focus on their families and I believe this is a noble life choice but always remember that your children have their own paths to walk, which must include:
- Fumbling during life decisions
- Experiencing relationships that could hurt them
- Having to stand alone in the world
- Figuring out how to defend themselves
- Going out into the world and making their own way
- Writing the script for their lives
- Experiences joys and sorrows
You made it out of your childhood alive, despite whatever scars you may believe you have. There is nothing you can do to completely protect them from the world and you do them a disservice when you try to do it.
You have to allow your children to live their own lives where you are a part of it, but not the motivating force. Your child has her own destiny and the experiences that bruise or hurt build character and resistance to the normal wear and tear that happens in life.
Your life is your own project. You can’t direct your child’s life as though it is a movie you wrote. Focus on yourself. Be there to assist your child when it is absolutely necessary but step away from the stage and create your own movie.
Your life is important too. You’re not too old to add drama or romance or adventure. Your life didn’t end when you became a Mom. Your child will appreciate seeing you support their goals but they will learn to live their lives to the fullest if they see that you can have your own life and adventures that don’t depend on them.
Life your life! You are playing a role in your child’s life but you are not the director. Allow them to experience the fullness of life, even if it hurts.