Change Your Conversation, Change Your Life has started a movement destined to change the lives of participants for the rest of their lives. The creators of this program, Malinda Dowsett and Lani Barna, share their vision. “Our mission is to touch a million lives and to have that million turn around and touch a million more, so we are all creating a karmic wave of changing conversations together.” ~ Malinda and Lani
Malinda Dowsett, 38, and Lani Barna, 55, are longtime friends who hit rock bottom. Two women who turned to each other and empowered each other to become the strong, independent women they always knew they could be. Working together, they changed everything about their lives, one conversation at a time.
They overcame some of life’s toughest hurdles — divorce, suicide, near fatal experiences, single parenthood, devastating financial disaster and internal personal struggle – and it wasn’t easy. From failure to success they overcame years of self-defeating, habitual behavior by implementing the principles they put forward in their new book, “Change Your Conversation, Change Your Life” and into the real world around them.They began listening to, and changing, the stories they told about their lives.
Acclaimed authors and speakers Dowsett and Barna tell captive audiences that every question we ask, every conversation we have, is the Law of Attraction at work. The spark that sets everything else in motion. The first step towards the fulfillment and completion we all seek. And although sometimes the first step down a long path seems small in comparison to the journey, it is vital because without it there would be no journey at all.
Malinda and Lani demonstrate how to manage thought and move life beyond the physical senses to the inner peace and joy we all seek. “Our lives are like a movie,” they say, “At any moment we can re-write the script by letting go of junk we carry around for years, overcoming self-doubt and self-loathing and get on with the life we really want to live.”
The key is knowing that our true, inner self is the energy behind every thought we have. Deliberately changing our conversation – the way we talk about our life – changes the vibration we hold ourselves to and every experience we attract into our world. When you hold the vibration of how you want an experience to feel, you begin to enjoy your life because we are always going to choose well-being and joy. The only question we must ask ourselves is, how long can we hold a new thought?
Malinda’s Story
“After being married for six years, separated for a year and then losing my husband to suicide in 2005, my life was in complete shambles. On the outside everybody thought I was doing pretty well until I decided to remarry a year later out of complete fear. At that point I had never been so scared in my life. I was raising two children on my own, running my own business and totally disconnected from myself.All my life I thought I was supposed to be married, work hard, be a good mom, a loving person and the rest would come out in the wash. When my husband died I wasn’t sure what direction I was moving in. I felt lost and completely alone.
“My conversations with myself were ones of despair, guilt, depression, and anger. I didn’t think I had it in me to stand on my own two feet – as a matter of fact I didn’t want to stand on my own two feet. Deep down I didn’t think I was capable of taking care of myself much less my children. I woke up every morning wanting someone to just take it all away. I didn’t have the strength to deal with the enormous pain I was carrying around. I thought if I just kept going, all of it would eventually go away.
“Two years into my second marriage, I had totally isolated myself from my family and friends. I was emotionally and mentally at absolute rock bottom. My second marriage was incredibly unhealthy, every thought I had beat me up, tore me down and left me feeling angry, depressed, anxious, guilty, and with no self-worth. Through it all, I denied, ignored and dismissed the fundamental emotional patterns that were driving my life and everything my life reflected this pain back to me.I knew I was destined to repeat the same pattern if something didn’t change. It was like waking up each day and rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic knowing that the end result would keep repeating itself as a complete disaster. Unless I wanted more of the same, I was going to have change from the inside out but where to begin? Then one day I received an e-mail from an old friend, Lani Barna.
“Lani and I had not spoken in two years since I had re-married and her e-mail was a wake-up call. We very quickly picked up right where we had left off and spent long hours on the phone talking about what had come our way and where we were in our respective lives. Our conversations had always been on a more spiritual side, and during the time that we had lost touch with each other, Lani had begun a personal journey of her own, studying the non-physical side of herself, her thoughts and how to control them. Through her studies and research she had become quite advanced in her thinking and in our conversations she began sharing her new-found knowledge with me.
“On a personal level she was coming to terms with her own life struggles: a near-death car accident, another divorce and a terminally ill mother. She abruptly ended a successful career in corporate America and left a well-paying job and the prestige of an important sounding title to move her mother into her home and care for her during her final days.
“Living quietly with her mother, Lani used that time to rediscover who she was and reconnect with the side of herself she had lost bit by bit over the years. When she wasn’t caring for her Mother, she studied everything she could on being human and what this thing we call “reality” really is. She studied quantum physics, neurobiology and human consciousness. She searched the internet, subscribed to cutting edge newsletters and read books. Without the noise and distraction of a daily commute and endless meetings, Lani found – and began to feel – the energy side of her inner self again. She felt as if she was meeting herself again for the first time. She discovered that her shift in perspective provided her with an incredible opportunity to learn, grow, and finally take control of her life.
“As we talked, we discovered the need to stop asking the question, “Why is this happening to me?” and begin asking ourselves the question, “Why is this happening for me?” There is a cosmic difference in these two questions. The first one leads us down the path of victimhood, martyrdom, or feeling that there is something wrong with us. The second one takes us down a path towards deeper growth, spiritual awareness and healing.
“Our experiential knowing of this fundamental truth quickly changed our conversations from ones full of negativity and “what is” to the spiritual journey of personal growth we are all on. We began helping each other move past what we had created in our lives that no longer felt good by slowly letting go of false expectations — of ourselves and others — and coming to terms with the personal responsibility and accountability for all that we had, and continue, to create.
“As Lani and I peeled back the layers of our lives we discovered that there are four principles involved in the process of creating every human experience: thoughts, feelings, inner guidance and choice. We began to step back and look at every experience that no longer served us objectively, like it was the next door neighbor’s life. One by one we resolved these experiences through forgiveness and a deep sense of gratitude. Did we not choose them at one time? Did they not serve us? Do we now not know even more clearly what we want now? Now let them go.
“We began to stop pushing others to change their ways to make us happy. We began seeing every experience as a gift to more completely discover who we are and what we are made of. Are we courageous? Are we kind? We saw every difficult person as a way to more clearly express our core beliefs. Is this really what I believe a marriage should feel like? Is this really the relationship I want with my kids? We used every mistake to help us become even more clear about our purpose, our beliefs, and how the law-of-attraction works in our lives. Is this really who I think I am? Is this really what I want to be? We realized that every conversation we have with ourselves and others either builds us up or tears us down. We learned that when we get to the place where we become aware of how each thought makes us feel, we will always move towards choosing a better-feeling thought because all of us want to be happy and experience joy. We got quiet. And as we quietly nurtured a new relationship with ourselves, we began using contrast as a way to determine, once again, what we really want to feel.
“As soon as I began applying these four principles to the big things in my life I began seeing more and more opportunity to move my life in the direction I really wanted to go. I started to feel like I was gaining back control of my life. I started to feel a little more like me. Every day I began finding my strengths again. I began building myself back from the ground up again.My life began to turn around.
“I separated from my second husband shortly thereafter, and with new eyes and an open mind, am purposefully and intentionally creating the loving home I always wanted for me and my children. I have become incredibly quiet in my mind as a result of letting go of all the drama swirling around me that I did not create. I feel an expansive inner peace I would have never known if I had not courageously looked at and broken through all the major issues in my life. I have now feel enormous strength and gratitude from every life experience that once caused me pain. Releasing beliefs and ideas that no longer served me opened up a huge amount of space in my life for the things I truly love and believe in. I am no longer in limbo. I am living my dream.
“After a year of helping each other turn our lives around, we knew that we wanted to share this simple, amazing information with everyone around us. We wanted to help everyone know that our minds are meant to serve us, not control us. We want to demonstrate how easy life can be if we would but relax, get to know ourselves, and get out of our own way. Life is supposed to be abundant, fun, exciting, adventurous, expanding, and ever-evolving! This was knowledge worth sharing. This was information we knew would immediately help others understand that they do not have to suffer unnecessarily any more. Change Your Conversation was born.
“In January 2010 Lani and I took a leap of faith and began teaching others how to use life’s everyday contrasts to create a better feeling life. We now speak in front of groups of people ranging from women of domestic abuse to corporate executives and show people in a very real way how to use a tool they already use every day – their conversation – to identify their core beliefs, become clear about what they want and move. In less than a year Change Your Conversation became an overnight success touching thousands of people with real stories and changing lives. Today more than 4,000 people in over 62 countries follow our daily inspirational thoughts and teachings on human potential and purpose. We call it “The Power of Conversation” and we are living proof it is real.
So take heart … you are not alone. Join us on a journey of self-discovery. Do not be afraid to listen to your thoughts. Learn the science behind what it really means to be human. Understand that your thoughts are like a magnet and to think is to create.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
We challenge you to start today. Take the first step towards creating the life you desire by entering into a powerful conversation with us that will change your life forever. Join us at: www.changeyourconversation.com.
Thinking why is this happening for me instead of why is this happening to me is a very empowering belief and important step in changing the conversation we have with ourselves. Funny how just one word can make all the difference in your perspective. Glad I read this, so I can share it with others.