It’s time to stand up and make a choice and you’re a little unsure about what to do. Of course we all know that life is not a test and there’s really no decision that you can make that you can’t bounce back from. BUT- if you aren’t as skilled at bouncing back as the rest of My Savvy Sisters, chances are if things don’t turn out the way you had hoped after your decision you’ll feel like you’ve made a wrong choice and this belief will hinder your progress.
We all have to live and learn so the struggle is necessary for your growth. In the meantime, take into consideration these 7 motivators behind your decision and if any of these are present, you’re probably going to experience some serious regret.
1. Someone is Pressuring You
If you’re about to make a decision and someone has told you what to do and is pressuring you to do it, chances are once you make that decision and anything doesn’t go according to your plan you’ll begin to resent that person and berate yourself for listening. Never give your power away to anyone like that. You know yourself better than anyone. You can make the best decision for yourself. Even if you make your decision and it turns out to be “wrong” you will feel more powerful and able to change it because you’ll know you made the decision for yourself.
2. You’re Doing it because You’re Afraid
Is the decision you’re about to make rooted in the fact that you are afraid to experience loss or change? If so, you are about to take action based in fear and because of this you will probably do something really stupid. You think that you are so desperate that you only have one choice but the truth is, you have other options that you won’t accept. One of these options is to allow the thing you fear to happen. That is the scariest option but making decisions based in fear of the worst case scenario will often lead you to doing things that are against your moral code or will hurt you even more. Don’t do it.
3. It Feels Wrong
You’re smarter than you think you are. You have everything you need to make a solid decision. There’s an internal guidance system called your intuition that is trying to tell you what step to take next but you ignore it because you don’t trust yourself enough. If it feels wrong, if it makes your heart so jittery that you can’t stand it, you are doing the wrong thing.
4. Everyone Agrees
This one is very difficult to comprehend because it does not apply to everyone. This one only applies to the women who are game changers and think outside of the box. Average, every day women with average dreams and expectations should skip this tip.
For those of us who are not common, it is very important to understand that when you are about to make a decision, you can take a poll of all of the people around you and if everyone agrees on a particular resolution it is NOT THE RIGHT DECISION. The mentality of the average person is nearly always averse to the mentality of the free thinker and change maker. If everyone says you should do it, it’s probably the WRONG thing to do, no matter how safe it may seem.
5. You’re Trying to Impress Someone
When making a decision based on how others will perceive you, you are actually being a follower. If you choose a career path based on what will make your parents proud or get a haircut that someone else likes you are not thinking for yourself and you are being led by a string. That’s not cool. Get a brain of your own and figure out who you are.
6. The Result Won’t Make You Happy
You’re about to make a decision and you’re pretty sure you have it down. You’ve chosen a path that seems reliable, safe and conventional. It sure does LOOK like success, but will it feel like it? No. It won’t. You’re not making a decision that will make you feel satisfied, joyous and powerful, you’re doing what you think others think is ‘right’. You are going to regret that on your death bed. You are most important.
7. Your Objective Is To Hurt Someone Else
You will always make the wrong decision when you decide that someone else needs to be punished and you are the person to do it. It doesn’t matter if you believe that karma will get them or how much they hurt you, what matters is never allowing anyone’s actions to directly determine yours, especially if it will result in a crime.
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You don’t need to get revenge. You don’t need to settle the score. You don’t need to hurt someone else so you will have what you need (in most cases). There is another way to get what you really want which is probably not the satisfaction of seeing someone hurting at all. What do you really want? You want to feel good? You want to stop hurting or stop needing something. If you focus on giving yourself what you really need by doing things for yourself or allowing others to give you what you really need, you won’t want to hurt someone else.
You really need laughter, hugs and love. You really need understanding, acceptance and reassurance. You really want to feel safe again. I know. I understand. But hurting someone else out of spit is never the right answer. You can handle this situation without doing that. Just relax. Understand that whatever the other person did can NOT stop you from having the life you want in the future. Let them go on their way. Let life handle them.
You’re okay. You don’t need to hurt anyone to feel better. Scream. Cry. Punch the pillows. Let that anger out but do not allow this anger to make you end up hurting someone and ultimately hurting yourself. It won’t solve a thing.