Why Verbal Abuse Is Your Fault
There’s someone in your life who is tearing you down. They’re saying all the things you wouldn’t even THINK about saying to someone else. You’re hurt and afraid and you feel trapped by their opinions. You would do anything for them to change their mind about you. In fact, you’ve tried everything. You’ve pleaded with them. You’ve tried to improve. You’ve gone out of your way to be the best person you could be but there’s nothing you can do to get them to stop berating you. You’re extremely depressed and lonely and you feel like life is just not worth living anymore.
Before you decide that your life is worthless, I have to tell you the one thing that will set you free- the verbal abuse you are experiencing is all your fault.
It is. You have decided that there is someone else whose opinion of you matters more than your own. You have the authority to decide which opinion matters most and you gave it away to someone else who is using that power to destroy you.
Why are they trying to destroy you? It’s simple, you are allowing them to. You like being miserable and feeling dominated in a negative way or else you would not be in that situation. Of course it is easier to label the abuser as the monster and paint yourself as a victim because this society perpetuates victimhood. It is not okay to be a victim. It is not okay to point at anyone else and blame them for your situation. You are not a victim. You are playing a willing part in this scenario. You have to accept that.
There can be no dominance without willful mental submission. Before you become upset with me, allow me to explain how you can stop this madness.
- You have to decide that YOUR opinion matters most.
- You have to remove yourself from that situation at all costs.
- You have to understand that their WORDS only have the power that you give them.
- YOU are the authority of your life.
- YOU define who you are.
- You do NOT need anyone’s acceptance or approval.
- You have to make a DECISION to believe other people who actually love you and show it by being kind to you.
- You have to believe you deserve better.
If you choose not to do the things I am suggesting then you WANT the verbal abuse, you LIKE the verbal abuse and you can no longer complain about the verbal abuse.
It’s a decision to re condition yourself. You are NONE of the labels the person has slapped on you. You can label yourself. You don’t need anyone’s permission to do so.
You can do this. You don’t have to believe their harsh words and descriptions. That person is not God but you are making them the God of your life by allowing them to define you.
You can move away from this. You can choose NOT to believe them. They are just saying WORDS and you don’t have to be swayed by them.
You define who you are. You don’t have to accept their definition.
You are not a loser.
You are not a worthless bitch.
You are not a cunt.
You are not a stupid slut.
You are who YOU say you are and if anyone calls you anything other than the definitions you define YOURSELF by, you can easily dismiss them. If someone says that you are PURPLE, would you cry? No. You would laugh at them and keep it moving. You can do this same thing now.
You don’t deserve this. This is not all your life will be. You can make a decision to move away from this. You do not need this person’s approval. This is not love. You will never be able to make it better. Give up.
Make it better with yourself. Define yourself. Live up to the new labels you will now give yourself.