Lindsay Aronstein, 35, is the owner of a women’s boutique in Houston, Texas. She has been married to Scott Aronstein, 38, for 6 years.
My parent’s were both married and had children from their previous marriages. I am their only child together and pretty much grew up as an only child. They have been happily married for 36 years. My parents will often tell me that little kids annoyed me at an early age. For example if a child were crying in a restaurant or in a store I would be easily annoyed. I did fantasize about having my own children but only wanted to have one if any.
Honestly most of my friends had children very quickly after they were married and I saw the influence it had on their lives and the impact it had on their marriages and I wasn’t sure I wanted that for my husband and I. We love to travel and spend time with our furkids (3 dogs) and we love that it is just the two of us! I read the book Two is Enough: A Couple’s Guide to LivingChildlessby Choice by Laura S. Scott and I knew then that we had made the best choice for us. Also the book No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children by Corinne Maier was such an eye openener! I didn’t feel alone after reading these books. My Mom and Dad also were very supportive and my Dad said “Not everyone has to have kids, you will be fine.”
My husband and I initially thought we wanted children, because that’s what you do, right? You’re supposed to get married and have a baby. So we tried naturally for a while and were told we would have to do IVF if we wanted children. At that point we decided absolutely not, and that really told us that honestly we really didn’t want them to begin with! It was meant to be and I am so glad it worked out the way it did! We have ZERO regrets!! We told our best friends and our families and they were more than supportive! It was tough at first because we are the minority. People wonder what’s wrong with you if you don’t have kids, or that you hate babies, or God forbid it’s just the two of you!
Yes people I really like my husband!
So after making our decision we traveled to Colorado on vacation for a week and the entire time we felt so free and happy. Of course I cried over the thought of never seeing a little Scott running around, but I got over it really quickly. We enjoyed discussing our future without kids and all of the things we would accomplish and all the places we would go!
We have many friends with children. They call us Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Scott. Just because we do not want children doesn’t mean we don’t adore our friends’ kids. We have an adorable niece who is 6 and she is our little buddy! She stays over and enjoys being with us no matter what. Our friends were very supportive of our decision and understand that we are so happy with it just being the two of us with our 3 dogs. My best friend actually told me she never could see the parent lifestyle for me and boy was she right!
I believe we gain so much by this lifestyle. We are able to be there for each other 100%! We are both self-employed and have time for our marriage. If we had children we wouldn’t be able to have all of that. We are able to travel, shop, eat and explore and only have to worry about each other. It’s really nice to not have the worries that our friends have, schools, colleges, paying for weddings, kids ending up hating you, etc. We do not have one regret about our decision.
We do a lot for our niece and enjoy her very much. Being an Aunt and Uncle works best for us! We enjoy being with our dogs and give a lot of support to different animal causes. We are a very generous couple with our time and when friends and family need us we are there for them. We often keep our niece for sleepovers so my sister n law and her husband can have a date night because Scott and I can’t imagine if we never had that alone time together!
I really appreciate reading Lindsay’s story, and I look forward to reading the next 4! I already have my furkids, finding the right man who also chooses to be childfree is where I’m not doing very well. I keep hoping someone will tackle childfree singles issue 🙂 Thanks!
You go, girl! I saw myself in your story – I, too, was annoyed by children when I was just a child myself. In fact, before I turned 16, the only way I could earn money was to babysit, and even back then I could not stand the responsibilities of children. By the time I was 14, I said I never wanted to have kids. I am 38 now and have not changed my mind. My husband and I have an incredible marriage and four cats and a great life. Besides, this world is spinning out of control and is no place for a child to be brought into. I feel there is little hope for the children of today. So thank you for your story, and enjoy your childfree life!
Lindsay you are so incredibly brave. I love your honesty, not many women would be so candid. I am a mother of two and although I don’t regret having them I can appreciate any couple’s choice not to have them. Life is what we make it so it certainly shouldn’t be lived with regrets. Your fur kids sound like they are lucky to have you and Scott as parents.
What an excellent, well-balanced article. I can’t wait to see the next four profiles.
Lindsay you rock!
Lindsay, congrats on putting it into words so eloquent & perfect! It was like reading my own life story. My husband Fred & I have now been married 19 years. Sure, we had our up’s & down’s, but at the end of the day, it was just the 2 of us and our dogs.
Still would not want it any other way!
Keep it coming! Julie
Great Child-Free Choice!
Peglove
I love this story. It is so much like mine. Thank you for sharing it. It helps knowing I’m not alone.