After telling my family about my project I then had to tell my friends. This wasn’t so bad because my friends know me well and they know I’m capable of anything.
One guyfriend tried to point out to me all the things that could go wrong. I didn’t listen. A week later he called to say, “Maybe you’re on to something, Tee. This may just be what you need to do.” Then he asked if he could have my bed. =)
In order to make sure I didn’t chicken out I had to make a bold move. I needed to do something that showed that I was certain I wanted to do this. I opened my email and sent a letter to my landlord announcing that I was leaving on April 11. This is about accountability. I do not say I’m going to do something and then not do it.
I had my rent money. I had a few more days before it was due but I decided to let it go. In my mind, I played back countless conversations to overcome the fear. In a recent interview with Nancy Colasurdo, she mentioned that she felt a special connection to the homeless due to the times when she was so close to being evicted.
That helped me. I shared with her that I felt the same way. When I see a homeless person I don’t look the other way, I look at them because I realize that at any time that could be me. They are people too.
I see them. I really do. And soon I will become one. It won’t be like it feels when you are panicking as the day the rent is due comes closer and the images of you turning into a derelict on the streets causes you to clutch your chest and want to cry. This is real. It’s going to happen for real. I’m choosing it. I’m choosing to face it and once I do I will never fear it again.
I am scared. I am a woman. A tiny woman. I’m only 5’1″. I have never been in a real fist fight. I have dealt with this world all alone so far and I have survived it.
But the mission of uplifting women seems greater than the risk I am about to take. Who knows what leaders will arise after being freed from watching me work.
And what if my own dream of owning and operating my own website came true? What if this site you’re reading becomes what I imagine it could become? What if ALL my dreams come true and I become a conduit for others to achieve success?
What if the BEST happens?
What if I raise enough money to redesign the website in one week and then I start booking paid speaking engagements to help me to pay for another place to live by the following week?
Anything could happen.
Anything.
I am about to teach a crash course in rebuilding your life and the scary part is, I have no idea what the syllabus reads.