It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m sitting in bed and I’m thinking about a lot of different things. It’s very rare for me to just pour my heart out like I used to do when I had a strictly personal blog but I do enjoy it, I miss it. I miss having just ONE outlet to express myself, my blog was it. Now I have a Youtube channel, a Google Plus page, Facebook fan pages and Amazon where I write ebooks and sell them.
That’s a lot of different ways to expose myself to the world and I use them all, but none of them is as heartfelt as my blog used to be when all of my creative talents were showcased on one platform, you know, before Twitter and Facebook became mainstream.
Anyway, it’s actually early in the morning, 5am on New Year’s Eve. I’m sitting in my bed and my sons Sai and Solomon are asleep next to me. They are so quiet and so peaceful that I keep stealing kisses and just staring at them like I used to do when they were babies even though they are both my height right now.
Take a look at my sons performing magic tricks, they are so smart and witty!
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I am so happy that I got to see them again this year. Working on The Rebuild Your Life Project- Los Angeles has been a trip, very challenging, rewarding and eye opening but it’s also been lonely. If it weren’t for my sons, being able to talk to them every day and feel their energy over the phone from 3,000 miles away, I don’t think I would have managed this move as well.
Spending time with them is amazing. I find that the things they enjoy most aren’t me spending money and buying them things but when I do stuff with them like last night my 11-year-old son Solomon wanted to have a dance party. So we turned on the music of his choice (Something called Dubstep) and we stood in the middle of the room and danced.
Sai, my 13-yer-old, likes to have interactive experiences, creating art and talking and learning about clothes and shoes. He’s at that age where he wants to dress to impress and now I see why so many young men turn to a life of crime at a young age. They have so many desires for material things and their parents won’t or can’t get them for them so they figure they have to have it by any means necessary.
My sons are pure joy to be with, sure they argue and fight and annoy each other but they’re good boys and it delights me to delight them. We’ve been counting calories since they got here and I told them that whoever loses the most inches during their time here in LA wins $10. My younger son Solomon has been adamant about staying on target with what he is eating and doing his exercises, he really wants to win. I hope that what I am teaching them about health and wellness will stick with them for the rest of their lives.
Other than watching my boys sleep and fawning over them I’m thinking about this past year and how I survived an entire year in LA. Last year for New Years I was so sad because my foot had just been broken, I was on crutches and sitting at home with my roommates in the Highland House in Hollywood, a big, raggedy house 2 blocks away from Hollywood Boulevard and Highland where I lived with 25 people.
That was surely an adventurous time for me but of course, being an introvert it was a big challenge. I’m glad it’s over but I’m also glad it happened. I ran into one of my roommates from the Highland House today. We hugged, laughed and reminisced over old times and then promised to keep in touch.
I’m also thinking about this new year coming up and what I’m hoping for. Basically I’m hoping to see my sons more often and make more money. My sons are hoping that I can continue doing what I’m doing now but make more money doing it.
I hope to meet a new lover who will be someone I can admire and not feel sorry for and actually be FRIENDS with too. I hope that I laugh more than I cry this year. I hope that I complete fundraising for my grant for women. I hope that I finally lose this flabby belly. I hope that I get to see my Mama and my sister this coming year too.
Ehhh. What’s funny is, I can recognize my own growth and maturity because I know for a fact that if NONE of the things I hope for happens, I’ll still be okay. I always am.
That’s what I love most about myself. I’m always good.