MySavvySisters.Com posted a poll that asked its readers to answer the question: Do you truly love yourself?
Of the women who responded:
20% answered YES
40% answered NO
40% answered NOT SURE
Analysis– What does this indicate about the mental state of women who read our online magazine?
The women who read our magazine are in need of a good dose of self love. We are women who strive to create our best lives but somewhere along the line we seem to have forgotten how to love ourselves as is, that is, if we ever knew how.
What does it take to learn to love yourself? The process begins with self acceptance. The only true way to learn to accept yourself ‘as is’ is to make peace with who and where you are. This is a task that is not easily undertaken as we attempt to battle the daily images from the media and consistent messages that try to show us that we are not good enough as we are.
Fix this. Look like this. Make yourself better by buying this.
These are all messages that we see that make us compare ourselves to the flawless images and people who adorn the advertisements. We must understand that in every call to action to be “better” there is an underlying message: BUY THIS.
The people who create the campaigns that ultimately make us feel badly about where we are and who we are, create those images to try to SELL US A PRODUCT. We do not need these things yet they try to convince us that we would feel better if we drove a more expensive car or we hired this particular dating coach. We have created a social system that thrives on celebrating the abnormal. Yes, those size 2 women with perfect teeth and hair were manufactured to make us feel less than.
No one can set an ideal goal for your life. No one can tell you that you are not up to par. Do not waste your life striving for an ideal that some magazine art director put together based on the company that hired him to sell a product.
Who are you? No, who are you really?
You are not the attainment of your goals. Your life worth is not measured by your ability to sustain a romantic relationship?
Why don’t you love yourself? I know, it’s because you are not where you want to be in life. But the reality is, you are alive and you’re still afloat. I have witnessed personally the tragic mentalities of those who have given up on life. You are not one of those women. You are an awesome creation right where you sit.
You are amazing because…you ARE.
Your ~BEING~ keeps you among the best of the best. the fact that your ancestors survived thousands of years of the world’s most horrific tragedies demonstrates that you are among the most brilliant of survivors.
You don’t have to be GREAT. You don’t have to win awards. You don’t have to be the woman with the biggest house on the block. You are valuable because you were given the gift of life and you haven’t given up on it yet.
In order to love yourself more it is important that you rid yourself of everyone else’s ideals of who you should be and where you should be by this point in your life.
I am not a woman who has it all together. In fact, just last week, a mean spirited person said to me, “I’m better than you at life.” This statement didn’t hurt me, it simply let me know that I’m doing something right where someone would have the time and audacity to compare themselves to me. When anyone compares themselves to you, ESPECIALLY if you are unfavorable in comparison, it really means that they believe that you are better than they are, otherwise they would not stop to make the comparison.
Give yourself a break this week. Let the things you call flaws hang out. Go outside without a bra on. Sing as loudly as you can in your most off key tone. Don’t wear make up one day.
So what?
Who is your judge? Have you won an award lately for trying to keep up with the neighbors? Do you receive ANYTHING for your efforts to be better than the women featured in magazines?
I have been called beautiful my entire life and I get nothing but free drinks at the bar- does that really mean anything?
I am nothing special and I’m happy with that. I don’t have to live up to the pressure of maintaining the number one spot. I don’t have to fit into a size 6 dress. I don’t have to worry about my partner finding someone better because I’m single and I am free to do what I want.
I have a job that I enjoy and I am free to learn, spend time with my sons and work on the things I am passionate about. I am rich in all the ways that most “successful” people are not and that is simply because I live my life for ME and I’m happy with all the ways I made mistakes and all the ways I triumphed.
You can be happy too. Don’t you want to be? Stop beating yourself up because your life isn’t perfect. It’s not supposed to be like that. You’re not a robot. You’re not a clone. You are an individual and you can walk into life’s surprises with the expectation that you are walking into the next unique part of your distinct journey.
You are so special. You are so wonderful. You are such a gift to this earth. Love yourself for ~BEING~ and for being able to smile and contribute what you can. Self love is easy when you throw self condemnation out the window.
Forgive yourself.
Live.
Make mistakes.
Shrug.
Laugh.
Take risks again.
Relax.
Smile.
You always get chance to try again and if you don’t get it right then, oh well, try something else.
Life isn’t a test, it’s an adventure.
Salud.