No. I don’t have any pictures because I was so busy recording my first live Google Plus Hangout that I didn’t leave myself much time to twist my hair so pictures were out of the question.
BUT- when I got dressed in a white sweater and blue skinny jeans and my favorite boots, I felt so cute! I know I’ve been beating myself up HARD trying to develop a fitness routine so that I can become the fit woman of my dreams but honestly, I look great to me. I’m not pushing because I am dissatisfied with my body, I’m pushing just to see what will happen if I am dedicated to it.
What could happen if I continued to do 30 minutes of strength training, 20 minutes of cardio in the elliptical and then a 50 minute spin class every day? What will my body look like in 2 weeks, 4 weeks?
I want to see. All of these people at the gym are there for a reason. I want to join the fit club.
Anyway. My old roommate invited me out to celebrate her birthday. She said, “We’re going dancing so wear your dancing shoes.”
I met up with her and her friends at the club called Akbar in Hollywood. It’s a gay club which means you can go in, relax, dance and have fun with no pressure or drama. I swear, I stood in the middle of the dance floor by myself at one point just fully immersed in the music, painted by the specks of light bouncing off of the disco ball.
I didn’t care what type of music they were playing, I only cared that I was there on the dance floor and I could just vibe and have fun with no worries. It was so wonderful. It was so magical. I tuned everyone out and had a great time.
The craziest part of the night came when I met her friends. They seemed nice enough but the ‘nice enough’ turned into awkward when I realized that the fact that I was Black made them uncomfortable. Now, I’m not the type of person who thinks everyone is a racist, but when you think about it, we all have some prejudices and stereotype others.
But when I am around white people and they feel uncomfortable because I am Black, I can always tell because they do certain things like:
1. Reference Beyonce in some way, usually commenting on her beauty.
2. Talk about how they understand the “struggle”.
3. Pause before they describe someone as “Black” in conversation.
4. Talk about their Black best friend from elementary school or the Black chick they banged.
5. Not look me in the eye when they introduce themselves.
This is all weird to me because I would wonder why they would feel uncomfortable around me. I don’t ask them for money. I don’t steal their things. I’m not starting trouble. I’m not even ugly. If they would just stop thinking that it was a big deal, it wouldn’t be one.
Maybe they think I think they are better than I am or maybe they think they are better than I am or maybe they think that I am disgusting and don’t want to talk to me.
Honestly, I don’t give a damn about their issues with me being Black. To me, they are just another group of people I’ve encountered that I will never see again. But, last night made me wonder if we could ever really see past color.
To be honest, I believe I am beautiful BECAUSE of my Blackness. If I walk into a room filled with every race and I am the only Black woman there, I will think I am the prettiest because I am Black.
I don’t feel less than anyone, not ever.
But anyways- I did go out on the town last night, had a bunch of crazy laughs and hung out with my old roommate who is turning 35 like I will this coming summer.
I really like her, I always have. She’s a hard worker, really laid back and just funny. I’m glad we met and hopefully, we’ll get to hang out again soon.
And yes, next time I go out, I’ll still be Black.