An excerpt from Chapter 9 of the self help book It’s Not A Sin To Be Single
By Te-Erika Patterson
Despite popular opinion, I believe that one of the few things we have dominion over is our bodies and how we perceive them. We can’t control others, we can’t always please them but we can sure please ourselves. Since we are single and not interested in mingling with just any old body, we can decide to learn to pleasure ourselves.
Who says we have to settle for emotionless lack luster one night stands during our season of singleness? Since we already love ourselves why can’t we make sweet love to ourselves? If sexual gratification is on your mind and you have no one to call to help satisfy that desire then by all means, go ahead and touch yourself.
Before you take out a pen and paper to take copious notes, be aware that the following suggestions are merely that, suggestions. You have to decide whether your beliefs line up with the idea of self induced physical pleasure. If you feel that it is wrong then it is probably wrong for you. I caution you to never engage in an activity that you will regret later, on the other hand, I believe there is no sin in exploring the pleasure zones of your body at your leisure. It’s your body.
The concept of pleasuring ourselves physically, or masturbation, is not a new subject in any society. From the time we are babies we may explore our bodies and hit the right spot and realize that something feels good down there. When we purposely stimulate our sexual organs for the sake of pleasure we are masturbating. The practice extends far into adulthood where we can enjoy it more because we have more knowledge of what it takes to make us feel good.
Masturbation is one of the best ways to fulfill your sexual desires while safely giving yourself pleasure. Most people admit to masturbating on a regular basis.It is nothing to be ashamed of because it is a natural fact of life and everyone has done it at one point or another.Although it’s not a dinner table topic, the act is just as normal as washing your hair.
Some masturbation techniques can involve another person but most people think of it as a private activity. Masturbation allows us a healthy way to explore our bodies and to release sexual tension without having to pay an escort during our time of singleness.
No one masturbates the same way every single time. Everyone has developed a unique technique that suits their body and their lifestyle. Regardless of the method, the goal is always the same, we all want to have an orgasm. An orgasm is a powerful explosion that occurs when we are at the peak of our sexual experience. I can’t be quite accurate in describing the way it feels except to say that it is much like the fulfillment of a long awaited promise.
Weigh Your Options
There are thousands of toys, pills, movies, creams and other aids that will help you to reach your climax. How do you decide which method is right for you? Well, that’s the fun part, you can try them all.
If you have had sex before try to remember which parts of your experience turned you on the most. Was it the ability to watch your partner penetrate you? Was it the feeling of the penetration? Was it the sound of your lover experiencing immense pleasure?
If you were more aroused by the sight of the sexual act you may want to try renting or buying a pornographic video. There are so many options to choose from that your head will spin on your next visit to the sex toy store. Explore and find a video that is similar to what you have experienced.
If you were more turned on by the feeling of penetration you may want to explore buying a toy like a vibrator or for men, a masturbation sleeve. I won’t recommend a particular product here because no one is paying me for advertising.
If you were more aroused by the sounds of your lover then you have the option to rent a soft core porn movie and listen to the animated love scenes.
Set The Scene
Even though there are a variety of options for visual and physically stimulating aids all you really need is a comfortable place to sit or lie down and your own hand.
If this is one of your first experiences try to choose a time when you are home alone and you will not be disturbed. Turn off your phone and close your blinds, you don’t want to end up on Youtube.
It may be a good idea to have a hand towel nearby just in case things go well. Take out your toy/aid, if you chose one, and place it nearby. Undress yourself, there is no need for shyness. No one is around to judge you.
Relax And Enjoy
Successful masturbation is about concentration and your imagination. Your orgasm begins in your imagination first and then your body takes the cue and reacts.
Give yourself time to get used to the sexually stimulating ideas that are floating around in your mind. Enjoy them. Relish each one. Linger over the visions of your fantasy. When you’re smiling and biting your lip because of the beauty of the image in your mind you can begin to use your hand to fondle yourself.
For men this is demonstrated by making a fist around your penis and sliding your hand up and down the length of it in a firm yet gentle motion. You can increase the speed and the tightness of your grip to suit your personal tastes.
For women this could take some exploring because there are various erogenous zones in your private areas. You could try to position your hand like a karate chop and begin by gliding the base of your hand over your labia and clitoris until you feel a tingle.
Once that tingle is located, usually around the area of the clitoris, play around a little more until you can feel the intensity of the tingle begin to increase. Use the base of your hand or your entire hand to cause friction.
Be sure to get your hips and your body into the groove. The combination of the mental stimulation and the physical stimulation will have you at your sexual peak in no time. Enjoy what is happening to your body, it is the safest form of sex known to man and there is nothing wrong with it.
Of course there are other tips, tricks and methods but I’ll leave the more creative techniques to your imagination. As long as you feel positive about what you are doing, be open to trying different techniques as you explore what makes your body feel best.
It’s your body. You own the rights. It’s not a sin to masturbate. Enjoy yourself.