You’ve met her before. She constantly rolls her eyes. She has a smart remark for everything and she won’t listen to anyone’s advice. She thinks she knows it all and for the most part, she’s right. She has made her way in this world, on her own strength and she can do without the bullshit.
What she thinks is strength comes off to the rest of the world as “attitude” and she doesn’t realize it, it’s just the way she is, she doesn’t think she change.
Why?
She doesn’t feel safe in this world.
Women who have major attitude, putting everyone in their place and getting all huffy over the small inconsistencies in life behave this way because they feel that the world is out to get them. Somewhere along the line someone hurt her so badly that she believes that everyone will do the same if they got a chance to get close to her. She is always on the defense because she feels that she must keep people away so that she will never be hurt like that again.
Women who are healthy emotionally take the risk of being emotionally intimate with others at the risk of even being hurt because they believe that good can come into their lives and they feel that they deserve it.
She is really a nice, kind-hearted person.
When women know that they are too soft and sweet and those traits have been taken advantage of in the past they tend to lash out at anyone in their path because they are afraid that others will mistake their kindness and graciousness for weakness. They are too afraid to be nice for fear that it won’t be valued.
Women who are healthy emotionally enjoy being kind to others and they know that those who don’t appreciate the kindness won’t receive more.
She’s yearning for something she feels she can not have.
Deep down a woman with “attitude” may feel as though she is losing a personal battle that she can not control. It could be a health issue, the loss of a family member, unrequited love or an internal battle with mental health. When we feel out of control, we try our best to control others by being rigid and making strict guidelines for them to follow. When we can’t control them we become angry with the world and with ourselves. It’s really an act of desperation when life is offering situations that we feel we can’t handle.
Women who are healthy emotionally understand that life’s satisfaction doesn’t come from controlling our circumstances, it comes from reacting to circumstances with grace.
If you want to learn how to stop being the woman with the attitude, you have to learn how to lose.
Losing is not the end of the world. In fact, losing is just like setting the pins back up for a chance at a new game. No one is testing you. No one is judging you. No one is grading you.
You can fall in love as hard as you want to, realize the person is not the right one for you, and then move on without wasting away.
You can gain 10 pounds, work hard to get off and realize that your pants still won’t budge and still consider yourself beautiful.
You’re not making yourself appear to be strong by giving off a pissed off attitude all of the time, you are simply letting everyone know that you are hurting on the inside. Your fears and pain are easy to recognize like wearing a bright yellow coat in the middle of a snow storm.
It’s okay to be sweet.
It’s okay to be nice.
It’s okay to allow others to love you.
It’s okay if they don’t.
It’s okay if you lose.
It’s not impossible for you to win.
Good things can happen for you.
Everyone is NOT out to hurt you.
You are beautiful to someone.
There’s nothing wrong with you or your life.
It’s just life. Some shit happened and you are in charge of how you deal with it. If it’s not happening again and again at this moment, it’s not real.
Be the LOVING woman you were meant to be in this world. Be soft. Be gracious. Be kind.
Those traits demonstrate strength much more than putting someone in their place and cursing someone out.
Be strong, my good lady.
I think it boils down to a woman’s level of self-esteem and if she has allowed others to make her feel miserable thereby projecting that misery on to others.