While out on a date this past Friday evening, I strolled past Psychic Jude on the Santa Monica Pier. I love psychics and believe wholeheartedly in the ability to hear, see and feel information that is not gleaned through natural means. I believe everyone has this ability to some degree yet most either believe that it is wrong to acknowledge this gift or it is hidden because of the illusion of life.
Regardless, I offered Psychic Jude $10 to see if she had any information for me. What kind of question did I have? You know I wanted to know about my career since I have been adamantly working and sacrificing as a journalist, blogger and teacher.
By the time I walked away from Psychic Jude I had another idea for an article.
How to bullshit your way through a psychic reading.
Inspired by Psychic Jude.
Step 1
Ask the person what question they have.
Me: I’d like to know about where my career is headed. I have been working very hard.
Step 2
Instead of asking your intuition what career the person has, just ask the person yourself. “What is your career?”
Step 3
After they tell you what career they are in, offer them the most basic and elementary career advice you can think of. She told me that since I was a journalist, that she “sees” me writing a book and even ebooks in the future. That’s not much of a stretch since I have already published a print book and have 6 self help ebooks and 5 erotica ebooks for sale right now.
Step 4
Describe hazards that may come to the person based on their career. She asked if I had crampy fingers. Of course, I do! I am a writer after all. Maybe if I told her I was a construction worker she would have said that she saw me with a back ache.
Step 5
Describe some type of ambiguous success that is at least a year away. For me, she described a booming success next year.
Step 6
Describe some type of ambiguous obstacle that is irrelevant. She described my life as a winding road. Aren’t all lives that way?
I donate to the arts and consider psychic readings a part of the art so if you happen to run across Psychic Jude, offer a small donation but do not waste your time listening to her ramble about nothing in particular.
