31 Ways to Chase Away the “I’m Still Single” Blues

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We all have those days when our hands are idle and our phone isn’t ringing. During those times, it is difficult to shelter ourselves from the barrage of should have, would have, could have’s.  When you experience one of those days choose an exercise from the list below. There are 31 exercises to help you heal from a bad break up or cure your boredom during the down times in life.

Besides filling the time, these positive mental exercises are guaranteed to improve your life, one day at a time. ~ Te-Erika

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Day 1

Have a phone marathon with your closest friend. Discuss every important relationship that you’ve had in your lifetime and what you’ve learned from each one. Go into detail about the qualities that you would like to take from each relationship to create your fantasy relationship.

Day 2

Be silly… Create a dating profile on a site you’ve never visited  for the purpose of meeting new people. Spend a few hours writing about the type of person you are looking for and what you are interested in, then see how many people you can contact in one day. You can abandon this game after one day, but, just for the day, be silly and have fun.

Day 3

Imagine that you are on a date with the person you’ve always dreamt of. I’m not talking about a romantic date, I’m talking about the fun, let’s hang out and do what we like to do kind of date that you can do during the day, say, on a Saturday afternoon.

Think about this place and all of the fun you will have there and then simply get dressed and go for it. Don’t think about it. Stand up right now and go there. Have fun in that place today and don’t worry about your partner not being there yet. The more you enjoy the activities that make you feel good the more positive vibes you will emit which is a sure way to attract that special someone.


Day 4

Find a good place to people watch like the beach, the zoo or a restaurant. Set up camp while wearing a comfortable outfit and armed with a bottle of water. Sit and watch as couples walk by. Rate their compatibility on a scale from 1-10. Try to imagine why each couple is together and what their relationship is like.

Day 5

Take a pen and a piece of paper and find a comfortable place. Take some time to dream. Dream about your future. Write down at least 20 things that you always wanted to do, but were too busy, afraid or pre occupied to do them. Your list could include: go to a playground to swing, find a new bath mat, or organize your closet. Choose one thing on that list and do it today.

Day 6

Play catch up with your reading- There may be a zillion novels beside your bed with bookmarks on page 52. If you’re feeling a little down today and you want to occupy your time, go ahead and catch up on some over due reading.

Day 7

Go pet shopping today. Animals need love too. They’re cute and cuddly and need homes. Take some time to peruse your local animal shelter or pet store. Pick up a few pet treats to share if you can. Who knows, you may find the love of your life at the end of a leash.


Day 8

Is there someone in your life that you’ve lost touch with but still have fond memories of? Today’s the day. Look this person up on the internet, in the phone book or on Facebook. Reconnect.

Day 9

Write a love letter to your future spouse today. Show gratitude and appreciation for what they bring to your life. Be specific about the things that you are most thankful for. When you’re done fold the letter in half and put it away. Don’t touch it again but when you think of it, smile and remember to say “Thank you,” to your undiscovered perfect match.

Day 10

Today’s a great day to stay inside and reminisce on the old days. I’m sure there’s a movie that you haven’t seen since in ages that brings back fond memories of when life was much simpler. Take a minute and think about it and then go out and find that movie today. Relax, remember and smile, knowing you’ve come a long way.

Day 11

Today is an inventory day. No, I don’t need to know how many pairs of jeans you have. I’m more interested in reading about the progress of your personal growth. Go ahead and take out a pen and a few sheets of paper for this exercise.

Think back 10 years and try to recall where you were at that time of your life. Who were your friends? What was your lifestyle like?  What was most important to you then? Now fast forward to the present. How have you grown? What lessons have you learned since then? What is most important to you now?

By taking stock of your progress, your confidence will skyrocket and you will always have a written reminder that you have grown and will continue to grow, all the days of your life.

Day 12

It’s been a rough day for you, hasn’t it? You decided to pick up this book in hopes of filling the time with an uplifting exercise, am I correct? Instead of a random exercise, today I’m going to teach you how to redefine your thoughts.

First I’d like for you to understand that your brain has multiple functions. Besides being the control box for your bodily and mental functions, it is also a conduit for your thoughts, fantasies and desires to be processed through. Just like your heart pumps blood throughout your body, your brain produces thoughts. That is its natural function.

On any given day, you are bombarded with thoughts that you can classify as either negative or positive. Although we are prone to this type of classification, I want you to know that you don’t have to weigh your thoughts in this way. Your thoughts are merely fleeting expressions or interpretations of the situations that you encounter in life. Your thoughts do not define who you are. If you are thinking about something that does not please you, you have the power to dismiss that thought and shift it to something that does. Even when you notice a displeasing thought that lingers, simply recognize it as you would recognize your pulse and then shift your attention to something else. You are not your thoughts. You are a wonderfully created being with glorious life and a limitless future. That is who you are.


Day 13

Buy new underwear today. Even if you don’t need to it’s a way to pamper yourself. Go out and buy at least 3 pair and don’t buy the cheap kind. Buy the kind you really want, the kind that hugs your bottom like a nice warm palm. You’ll thank me for it.

Day 14

Today is a day for self appreciation. We spend so much time thinking about the things we need to improve that we seldom focus on the things that are going well in our lives. Today I want you to take out your journal and record the great decisions you have made for your life that have garnered success.

Your success stories don’t have to be major they can be as simple as choosing the right college or walking away from someone who set out to make your life difficult. Make sure that your list includes at least 10 positive choices and watch your confidence in your ability to make wise decisions soar!

Day 15

Today is a day for miracles in your life. Decide what kind of pleasing experience you want to have and meditate on it for one minute. Release the thought and watch what happens.

Day 16

It’s time to get your heart in order concerning your past relationships. One of the easiest ways is to rid your physical space of the clutter that reminds of those relationships that didn’t turn into the one that you most desired.

Take those old boxes of pictures from your closet shelf. Collect all of the stuffed animals that were given to you as gifts from your former lovers. Take some time to go through your wardrobe and box up all of those old clothes that remind you of relationships from your past. Take these items down to your local consignment shop or Goodwill and send a blessing to them as you walk away. Removing that baggage will free space in your home for new, more pleasant memories, the kind you’ve always wanted to have.

Day 17

There is a dream that has been tugging at your heart. I like to call it your recurring theme. No matter how much you try you can’t seem to get this particular goal out of your mind. Although it seems so far out of reach, it really isn’t.

Today is the day you will begin your journey toward accomplishing this goal. Take a small step today and find someone who has accomplished this goal, e-mail them or call them and ask them for advice about achieving this goal. Take careful note of what they say and make a plan of action. Focus on this plan and take a small step toward it each time it crosses your mind. Your dream come true begins today!

Day 18

Our beliefs are merely repeated thoughts that we agree with. Challenge yourself by recording a few of your most important beliefs in your journal. Does this belief serve you in your road to complete satisfaction? If it doesn’t, take the time to balance that belief with a belief that will push you toward your greater destiny.

If you have a belief that reminds you, “No one will love me because I am fat.” Change it to “Although I am overweight, my dream mate is glad that I have more cushion than the models. Their love for me will double because I am exactly who I am.”


Day 19

Inspire yourself today by creating reminders of the type of person you desire to become. Make a list of 10 affirmations that define who you want to be.

 I am a successful entrepreneur.

I am a loving, happy Mother.

I am a superstar!

Buy a pack of post-it notes and copy these affirmations onto the slips of paper. Post them in strategic places throughout your home, on the refrigerator, on your bedpost, on your night stand, on the front door. As you go through your daily routine, read each one out loud and say YES, I AM! Your life will change dramatically once these repeated thoughts become beliefs.

Day 20

Today is the day to indulge yourself. Buy your favorite dessert and eat as much as you like. Your life is not measured by your calorie intake; your life is measured by the string of blissful moments that you experience. Today will definitely be one of those days!

Day 21

Have you ever heard of the online community called Post Secret? It’s a project where anyone can write their deepest secret anonymously on a postcard and mail it in to a gentleman who posts them on his website for everyone to see. It’s a liberating feeling to share the one dream, experience, fear or hope that you felt you could never share.

Today is your turn. You can do this. Start out by finding an index card and a pen and sitting in a quiet place. Close your eyes and relax. There’s something inside of you, a secret, that you were too afraid or ashamed to tell anyone. You probably felt that if anyone knew about this part of who you are, they would run away from you. It’s been eating you up inside and you feel so badly about hiding it that you can’t function on some days.

Write it down. You don’t have to speak it out loud. Look at the sentence you just wrote. Attach the emotion behind that sentence to the index card. The sentence on the card does not define you. Your life is not wrapped up in that sentence. Your future is not determined by that statement.  Get dressed and go out to your local bookstore. Place the index card inside a book of your choice and walk away.

When you walk away, feel the freedom that comes with the knowledge that at some point someone will read your secret, someone will know how you really feel. Your arms won’t wither away. Your heart won’t stop. You will continue to live and grow. You will STILL find peace and happiness. Your secret has no control over your life.

Day 22

Today’s exercise is a monumental one. It involves going through the discomfort of your past relationships and reliving those endings.

 It’s okay. None of it can actually harm you, unless you allow it to. Take out a piece of paper and write down how each relationship ended. If you must cry, go ahead. If you must sigh, go ahead. You are allowed to feel however you want to feel.

 The beautiful part about this process is once you are done writing out the endings, tear off each one so that each story is on a separate sheet of paper. Stand over your garbage can with the pieces of papers and one by one, kiss the paper before you ball it up and throw it away. As each piece of paper falls into the bin, affirm yourself.

“Thank you for letting go of me so that I can now receive better.”

“Thank you for releasing me to become what I am destined to become.”

“Thank you for adding to my life and walking away when the lesson was learned.”

Be just as grateful for the journey as you are for the promise.


Day 23

It’s time to create a consistent reminder for where you want to be in the near future. Today you will create a vision board for yourself. A vision board is a piece of construction paper, a poster board or a bulletin board that you use to paste or post images of things that you would like to see happen in your life.

If you want a new home, find a picture of one in a magazine. If your desire is to go on a cruise, find a coupon for one in your newspaper. If you are hoping for good grades in school, paste the letter grade you want to receive on your vision board.

When you have at least 6 images on your board, place it in a spot where you will see it daily like near your bathroom or on your refrigerator door. Every time you pass it, smile and show appreciation that everything you have placed on your vision board will come to pass.

Day 24

Indulge your guilty pleasure today. There is something that you love to do but you know you shouldn’t be doing. As long as it’s legal, today you have my permission to enjoy it to the fullest extent of pleasure.

Don’t tell anyone. It’s our little secret.

Day 25

Alright already. That’s enough sulking. You have to get out of this funk. Get up and put on that outfit that you have not had an occasion to wear. Take yourself out to eat and then on to a club, movie or comedy show. It’s your choice but you do have to choose. You don’t have to go alone, you can invite a friend, just GO!

You are not allowed to stay inside tonight. GO!

Day 26

Log on to your computer and get ready for the holidays. No, you’re not shopping for your family, you’re creating a wish list for yourself. Go to Amazon.com and create a wish list of all of your favorite things. Spare no expense. Choose what you would choose if you had all the money in the world.

If you happily select these items and send out positive thoughts about them, you are more than likely to see them start to appear in your life like magic.

Day 27

I hope you are up for today’s challenge. It involves your underwear, a cup of hot chocolate and a razor blade. Just kidding.

Today is the day that you examine yourself physically from head to toe. Find a private place with a full length mirror and remove all of your clothing. Stand in front of the mirror and take a long look at what you see.

That is your body. Your body is beautiful just the way it is. You need not gain a pound or pop a pimple in order for you to receive the love you desire. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Day 28

Embrace your inner child today. Go out and find a toy that is as complex or as simple as you like and come home and play with it. Spend at least a half hour playing with it. You are not allowed to worry, wish or stress during this time.

Relax your mind and just play for the sake of having fun. You deserve it.

Day 29

It’s Appreciation Day. Call up 3 people who have made significant contributions to your life and thank them for loving you the way they do.


Day 30

Today is a great day. It’s a day to relax and not do anything. Forget about your responsibilities today. Take the day off. Leave the clothes in the hamper. Order dinner. Don’t do anything at all today unless it brings a smile to your face.

 It’s your day. Enjoy it!

Day 31

It’s time to connect with yourself. The best way to do that is to remove yourself from the trappings of technology and luxury. No, you’re not going camping. Today you will grab a blanket from your closet and head to the park for an afternoon of silence.

 Take your blanket, a bottle of water and a snack if you think you will need it. Go to your neighborhood park, leave your cell phone inside your car or turn it off. Lie down on your back on the blanket and look up at the sky.

 Really take a look at the sky and notice the vastness of the space. It has no ending and no beginning. It is an infinite as the possibilities for your life. As you stare off into space release those dreams you have buried within your heart, those very dreams that you really don’t believe can come true.

Release them like helium balloons carrying your hope with it. Trust that when it lands it will be promptly carried out in the most pleasurable manner possible. Release as many dreams as you want. Connect with your dreams, your self, your desires and your fears. Release them all and walk away replenished.

You can also BUY THE BOOK– It’s Not A Sin To Be Single as a Download on Kindle.

Break Up Book Te-Erika Patterson

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