I. I’m sorry. I haven’t been myself lately.
I usually have this “Ugh get away from me” attitude when it comes to men because I realized that after so many years of meeting men who didn’t appreciate my friendship and weren’t mature and just- meeting average men- I lost all interest in them. Like, at no point do I ever meet a man and think to myself, ‘I wonder if he’s the ONE’. I don’t want any of them to be the ONE.
But then something changed a couple of nights ago when my little sister called me to tell me to check out this youtube channel by these dudes called The Hodge Twins.
Not only are these dudes super extra FINE, their personalities really got me. I found myself watching their videos one after another. It confused me because deep down, I don’t really like attractive, muscular men who like women. I like mildly attractive, skinny or fat dudes who are secretly gay.
Why are these dudes so appealing to me in an animalistic way? It’s like- not only do I now believe HEAVEN exists in a HodgeTwin sandwhich, but I find their opinions to be entertaining too. I love their personalities. I don’t even watch TELEVISION because I believe it to be a waste of my precious time I have on this earth to make my dreams come true. I’m bout that. I’m about using my time every minute I can to study and create and make myself more valuable.
BUT for the past 2 days I have been wasting HOURS of my day laughing and staring at them. What’s wrong with me? I feel guilty. I am torn because I don’t even look at Kanye or Jaleel White the way I look at Keith and Kevin Hodge and Kanye has been my imaginary boyfriend since 2005 and Jaleel was the inspiration for whatever dream man ideals I had in my head since I was a child. But here I am, making a video like a damn GROUPIE just to say Hi to them. Ugh!
I don’t want a man. I decided that a long time ago. More recently I decided to stop sleeping with them altogether because it’s a waste of time and they don’t know what they are doing. It’s not worth the effort anymore.
But here we go, some dudes waltzed across my screen turning me into a groupie, laying up in bed staring at my 32inch TV that I use as a monitor for my laptop. And I’m confused but so happy. I don’t even like men like that, especially solid, hunky, muscular fine ass men with amazing personalities.
I feel guilty. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even like men. What’s happening? Maybe my obsession will go away quickly so I can get back to work but for now, I have to watch just ONE MORE VIDEO. I can’t STOP!
LOOK AT THESE MEN!