How to Survive: Leaving An Abusive Relationship

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There is no time to place the blame or berate yourself for not being strong enough to do it sooner. Right now, at this moment you have decided to leave an abusive relationship and I am going to try to prepare you for this journey as best as I can. You can do this. Follow these steps.

1. Document the abuse with pictures and in writing, including time, date and what happened. Tell someone. You have to tell someone what is going on. Forget being prideful, you need to have  a witness.

2. Create or learn a skill that you can use to create income for yourself. You can learn how to cut hair, braid hair, waitress, clean, do taxes, write blog posts, do temp office work or sell candy on the subway. You will need a skill that is outside of employment to help you through this. Develop a skill by learning online, watching Youtube videos or observing others who already know how to do it.

3. Tell someone you can trust about your plans. Don’t tell anyone in the abuser’s family.

4. Gather all of your identification documents and make copies for safekeeping.

5. Get a PO Box so that you can receive mail no matter where you are.

6. Try to identify a safe place to go to. There are safe houses for abused women in many cities.

7. Learn a form of self defense or learn how to arm yourself.

8. Save as much money as you can. One woman I interviewed learned to code and used donation coder to stash money during an abusive relationship.

9.  Just before you leave, file for a restraining order to be served once you are gone.

10. Remind yourself that you are not a victim. Not anymore.

Reach out to me if you need emotional support at Te-Erika[at]MySavvySisters.Com.

 

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