If your main priority in life is being loyal to the people you are closest to, you’re doing it wrong.
I have to pull you back into the realm of human nature and in this realm there is no room for placing anyone else above yourself. If you and your friends were stuck in the middle of the sea like on the movie Titanic and there was only one place on the wooden plank to save one person, who would die?
Would you be loyal to them and give them your spot or would you bash them over the head and mourn them later?
I used to put all of my friends before myself. With one friend in particular, I cared about her well-being more than I cared about my own. That was the dumbest thing I could have ever done because it caused her to not appreciate me and take me for granted. The moment I stopped being there for her in every way she needed was the moment we stopped being friends.
You owe no one anything. You should only be loyal to yourself.
I am not saying that you should not be respectful, courteous and giving but I am reminding you that in life you are always one life vest short of drowning and you are not responsible for anyone’s life but your own.
So please don’t:
- Take the rap for a friend where you get into trouble and they don’t.
- Cover for a friend who has done a misdeed.
- Follow your friend and engage in an activity that you know will not benefit you.
- Support your friend, enabling them to continue a destructive lifestyle.
- Applaud your friend when you know that the path they are on will end in disaster.
- Push all of your resources, time and energy into a friend who has no track record of putting all of their own resources, time and energy into their own projects.
- Lie for your friends.
- Believe that you have to stay friends with someone when the relationship is not beneficial to you.
- Carry your friend with you throughout life because you have known them from childhood. Let them get off your back and walk.
The reality is, you have no friends, you have people with shared interests and experiences who may wish you well one day and the next day may stab you in the back. Never completely put your faith in anyone because people will always disappoint you.
Your loyalty and faith should only be placed in yourself. This doesn’t mean that the world is a horrible place to live, it only means that you are wise enough to know that there is a duality to every person, the same one that will laugh with you, will hurt you. Understanding this principle will also make you more understanding of your own shortcomings.
Appreciate your friends. Laugh with them. Talk to them. Share with them. Cry with them. Walk through life holding hands but also willing to let them go if their choices begin to pull you astray.
You are most important.