I’m wondering if it’s just the way our technology is evolving that has affected the way we see ourselves or maybe it’s the fact that we no longer feel we are so isolated because there are now a multitude of ways to connect with other like minded individuals through cyberspace.
Through my personal interactions with others I have found that although we can celebrate our individuality, we find true peace of mind in loving ourselves as a result of making heartfelt connection with others. Although we pretend we don’t need to be accepted, we really do appreciate it when we can be our true selves and are appreciated for it.
I read a quote somewhere that said the phrase ‘Really? Me too.’ is the first sign of friendship.
If you are a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or questioning individual and you are afraid that no one will understand or accept you, allow me to be the first to say: Really? Me too.
I am bisexual.
About two years ago, I was innocently serving as a waitress when the restaurant doors opened and in walked the most beautiful woman in the world. I didn’t know what to do besides stare with my mouth open and when I went home that evening I sat in confusion wondering what was going on with me.
“That’s a girl,” I said to myself. “That was a GIRL.”
But why did I want to talk to her, to get to know her, to hold hands with her? Why did I want to match with her and be bestfriends with her? Eventually I realized that I wanted to kiss her too. It was a rough 3 months for me as I sought out people to talk to about what was happening in my mind. The people around me that I knew were openly gay didn’t believe me and laughed at me when I tried to ask questions. They told me I was playing around but I wasn’t.
I decided to fight through the confusion and I joined a website called Downelink to see if I could meet someone to talk to. There I met so many beautiful, smart women who loved other women and I even met my first internet girlfriend. Through her I learned that I could love a woman’s heart and mind. Then I began to notice other women noticing me and on an impulse I went out to perform some of my spoken word art and I met the woman who would be my first.
Although she turned out to be someone who wasn’t very nice to me, I appreciate that experience because I completely faced my fears of my questioning sexuality. I transformed from the ‘Q’ in LGBTQ to the ‘B’ as I embraced loving and being loved by both sexes.
I shared some of my thoughts during this process on my youtube channel. Here’s a sample video.
I am proud of who I am today, tomorrow and everyday that will come. It doesn’t really matter who is comfortable with who I decide to love as long as I decide that I can love who I want and not be ashamed of it.
I’m beautiful. I’m smart. I’m sexy. Why wouldn’t both sexes want me? ~grins~
It’s okay. Take your time. Explore. Love. Live. Be Proud.