What women (and some men) don’t understand about relationships is – sometimes giving your all to people who have not shown they deserve it, isn’t such a good thing.
Of course we all want to release ourselves and to fully engage in that love feeling without abandon. But, to do this without making sure that the other person will be careful with your love is like allowing a random stranger to drive your car without a license. Who does that?
So often, we meet someone we are attracted to and then feel the urge to prove to them how wonderful we would be if we were in a relationship with them. In essence, we start to behave as though we are committed to them when we really aren’t.
I’m all for acting as if you already have the thing you want, yet, when it comes to relationships you can only pretend for so long. If your partner isn’t involved in this role play with you, you have to exit the stage.
The reason why you have been so devoted to people who only see you as a friend is because you are allowing yourself to be the side item, easily available at a moment’s notice for whatever they would like.
You may think this is a good thing because you are proving your loyalty to them but in reality you are showing them that their happiness takes priority over theirs. Every time they put your feelings on hold for someone else and you sit there and listen to them whine about the other person when you really like them, you are telling them that your feelings don’t matter.
In order to get out of the friend zone you have to stop putting other people’s feelings above your own. Why would they choose you when they know they can choose someone else and still have you on the side? They don’t have to choose you and you’ll still be there. Lucky them. Unlucky you.
Break out your bad habit by putting your foot down. If someone you like doesn’t like you back in that way, you can talk to them in passing but don’t devote yourself to being their friend and listening ear hoping for a chance to sneak in and love them. That’s the definition of a person who is diving head first into the friend zone. They did not put you into the friend zone, you friend zoned yourself by allowing them to put you on the sidelines. You’re not being a ‘good friend’ like you think you are, you are being a pushover. You are letting them hire someone for the job you want and then call and complain to you about the person they hired.
Stop doing that shit. Ignore the person’s calls. Find someone else to fuck or to love. If they don’t value the love you offer, they aren’t the one who deserves it. Devote yourself to someone who does value you.